The big prizes in life go to the builders, not the destroyers! If there is greed, envy, hatred, jealousy, and selfishness in your heart, you will only attract those characters with similar characteristics. This is as applicable in business as it is in our personal lives!

A fundamental truism, experienced by each of us every day of our lives, is that, to get ahead in life, we must make ourselves attractive to other people. Attractive not just in the physical sense, but also by having a pleasing personality. Yes, you will automatically attract others, but bear in mind that like attracts like. If you have a pleasant, pleasing, personality, you will attract pleasant, pleasing people – the reverse applies!

Your personality is the total of all your characteristics and appearances. It is this personality which distinguishes you from others: the clothes you wear; the tone of your voice; the thoughts you think; the character you develop because of your thoughts; the way you shake hands; the expression in your eyes; the vitality of your body; your body language, all go together to form a complete picture of who you are. Each aspect on its own is just a little thing, but so is each individual cell in the body.

Fortunately, we are all in direct control of our personalities. Whilst speech is the chief method through which we express our personality, earnestness of purpose is the foundation on which personality is built. People are not fools, they can sense when a person is not earnest, and so can you. You regard it as an insult when someone is just placatory to you – they feel the same way!

To succeed in business, you must make yourself the most attractive you that you can be. To quote Dr. Seuss, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You”.

Consider the aspects covered below, examine yourself against each and identify what you need to change to ensure that you give yourself a good shot at success:

Main Attractions:

When it comes to personality, the main attractions for others are:

• A keen, heartfelt, interest in the other person’s ‘game’ in life. This ‘game’ encompasses that person’s work, their business, their profession, their family, and what they do for recreation.
• A willing listener.
• The ability to sell people on themselves – genuinely. This is done through the expression of admiration and praise – be genuine though!

Notice that each of the above dictates an attitude of you and not one of me.

Building Blocks

To build personality, one must first have imagination and a spirit of cooperation. Without these two ingredients you cannot develop an attractive personality! Assuming these two vital aspects are in place, let’s consider the building blocks we need to cement into place, one at a time:

• Rigid self-discipline.
• Identify people with character traits you most admire – study them and build these characteristics into your own.
• Control your thoughts and keep your mind positively vitalised.
• Find one person who you can genuinely praise for something you admire – every day.
• Verbalise the praise you have for others. By doing this we instill a genuine feeling in ourselves, which mirrors in our personality.
• Form the habit of finding good in others.

Practical Development

Once all the above aspects have been brought into play, we need to start developing the personality we wish to have by taking some practical steps:

• Interest yourself in other people. Make it a habit to praise them for their good qualities (we all have many good qualities – some may just be hidden a bit deeper than others).
• Speak with force and conviction. Take care not to be loud though – loud and aggressive people are vexatious to the spirit.
• Dress well.
• Shake hands with warmth, feeling, and enthusiasm.
• Rid yourself of all your grievances. No person with a grievance can also be a person with an attractive personality.
• Stop complaining – if you can’t do anything about it, drop it.
• Quit challenging others to engage in useless argument.
• Stop talking so much and start listening (not hearing) to what others have to say.
• Select the company you keep – you become like the people with whom you associate the most.

To attract others, you must attract yourself to them first – it is your choice. Develop a firm determination to transform yourself into the person that you would like to be and be conscious of the fact that your limitations are the ones you set in your own mind.

Is it all worth it? Well, it just so happens that you will never be happier than when you know you are making others happy – conduct a little experiment to gauge this statement. With an agreeable personality comes both material and mental reward!

Every ‘shady’ deal in which you engage, every negative thought you think, every destructive act in which you indulge destroys a little more of that ‘subtle something’ within you that is your character.

 

QUOTATION:

Congratulate yourself when you reach that degree of wisdom which prompts you to see less of the weaknesses of others and more of your own, for you will then be walking in the company of the really great.

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